Leading through Example and From Mistakes

 I have been moving towards educational leadership in my career.  Right now I consider myself a 'teacher leader,' and I am applying to administration jobs.  

In this journey, I have realized that a lot of our work as leaders in buildings stems from us leading by example.  I care deeply about students, and I had a situation last week that I learned from, so I want to share it with you.  

I teach mostly 8th grade classes.  I have a student who is perpetually tardy for my class period two.  I have worked with him one-on-one to help him prioritize getting to class on-time.  His period one class is only two doors down, so he is capable of making it!  When quarter four started, I re-set my tardy log.  And in the first week of the quarter he was tardy one time.  Then we had spring break.  Upon our return on Tuesday, he was late.  Then he was late again on Wednesday, but only by about 10 seconds, which really is better than usual.

In all of this, I felt frustration.  It is hard not to take things personally sometimes.  People are emotional beings.  Yet, my mom sometimes reminds me that we own our reactions.  In the moment, I was not doing a good job of this.  

My Mistake:

When he got to the door, it was already closed because the bell had rung.  He knocked and I opened it, but only long enough to tell him that he was tardy and to go get a pass from the tardy table.  He threw his backpack down outside the door and huffed-off.  

About five minutes later he came back to class.  But he was very frustrated.  He asked to leave because he "couldn't work in this room."  So I called the office to see if he could go sit there.  The AP said she would come get him.  But here's the thing...phone calls are not private.  The phone is not anywhere near the door, so we can't even step out to make them more private.  Meanwhile, the whole class was reading quietly.  His business was a bit public, which was like putting salt on the wound.  

So he left.  He had enough and he walked out.  

I called the office back and let them know, and continued with class.  

My Learning and Next Steps

In the few minutes that he was gone, I was thinking to myself that I was being very immature.  I was not acting like an adult who cared for my students, even though this is what I try to embody.  Part of me might have been telling myself that I was holding him to high standards, yet the reality is that him being 10 seconds late today could have been met with grace.  Grace from an adult who should be able to control emotional impulses.  

In those few minutes, I made a decision.  I would take steps to repair and restore.  I am a proponent of restorative justice in education.  I am in a book study for The Little Book of Restorative Justice in Education by Katherine Evans and Dorothy Vaandering.  On page 32, the core values of restorative justice are defined.  Respect is defined in the text as: "Respect (re: again; spect: to look) 'To look again' from the point of view of the other; to put one's self in the other's shoes and then respond" (Evans and Vaandering).  In this quick self reflection, I was looking again, and offering respect to the student. 

When the student returned, I started the conversation immediately with an apology.  I explained to the student that I could have given grace today, and I was sorry that I did not show respect earlier.  I validated his feelings.  Then we had a brief heart to heart about him prioritizing getting to class on time.  He said he would come straight to class.  We shook hands, and he came back in ready to work.  

It was such a major transformation from the beginning when he said he could not work in the room. He was welcomed, and he felt it.  

Future Expectations

One of the things that we all need to remember is that students are a work in progress.  They are not going to necessarily have the same priorities that the teachers have.  And honestly, their priorities may change day-to-day.  In this case, the student's desire to be with peers generally trumps being on time to class.  But working to maintain the dignity of students, respect them, and show mutual concern for each other will create a stronger more cohesive classroom (Restorative Justice Core Values p. 32).  Perhaps it will be the classroom that students are working to get to on time, most of the time! 

There may still be days that this student does not come directly to class.  But, there is also an opportunity for me to be his champion.  I can help by looking out for him while on hall duty, cheering for him to make it to class on time, and celebrating the victories.